Lesley Evans, Always learning why people do what they do Answered Sep 18, 2016 Originally Answered: How can I come over borderline personality disorder? Short answer: therapy and DBT Long answer: Borderline Personality Disorder is very deeply ingrained in one’s automatic thought patterns and behaviors. Just like everyone’s unique personality is, whether healthy or not. Persistently maladaptive, invalidating and/or threatening circumstances an individual is raised in or subjected to over time molds what may have otherwise been a well-grounded personality into one that is less conducive to healthy engagement with the world and it’s societal norms. BPD is a personality of fear, insecurity, and detachment from oneself. It is, in my experience/opinion, confusion about self-worth combined with internal choas and unhealthy coping mechanisms. Everyone’s personality is a product of their culture, family life, socioeconomic status, educational opportunities, life experiences and a handful of their genetic makeup. That’s a lot of foundation to “overcome” for the BPD individual! You can’t change your past, but you can learn volumes from it to help you figure out how to live a life that is more meaningful and more peaceful. Not all BPD individuals are the same and can fall anywhere on a very wide spectrum of disorder severity. Also, the impact of BPD on one’s behavior and daily functioning is unpredictable and ever-changing. However, being professionally diagnosed with BPD means you consistently fulfill certain criteria, and this also means you are likely to respond well to certain therapeutic approaches. Ones that have been developed specifically geared toward BPD. The most sensible starting point would be psychotherapy, to start whittling away the shell of defensive volatility. Get talking about who you are today and what areas you want to improve in. A thorough review of your childhood all the way up to who you are today will help to identify the kinks encountered and how those kinks made you who you are. This is where psych providers divide in terms of treatment approach. Cognitive behavioral therapy will entail more analysis of nature vs. nurture and focus more deeply on understanding the “why?” of your behavior and personality. In my opinion, it is the more educational approach that requires you to discuss yourself as a subject that has defects that need fixing. It works for many, but the one therapy model developed for Borderline Personality Disorder treatment that statistically proves more effective is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Very briefly put, DBT focuses on the here and now, rather than picking apart the ugly pieces of your past. It’s four components are Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. These are all things that require you to stay present, be aware of your emotions/behaviors, remain non-judgemental about those emotions/behaviors as well as those of the people you are interacting with, and employ healthy ways of responding to distressing situations. DBT teaches you how to acknowledge negative or intense emotions and to ride them out using safe/healthy coping skills until those feelings have lessened to a tolerable degree. It’s hard and takes a lot of commitment and skill practice. Mindfulness is the hardest if you aren’t used to quieting your mind to enjoy the moment. Interpersonal Effectiveness is also tough for many people because it requires being both assertive AND receptive/empathetic to whoever you are communicating with. 1.5k Views · 12 Upvotes ·

Ambush at Coquitos

 

Discover new books on Goodreads See if your friends have read any of Pam Jenoff’s books Join Goodreads Pam Jenoff 123 ratings | 94 reviews | avg rating:5.00 PAM JENOFF’S FOLLOWERS (1,079) Ingrid … Melissa… Heather… Bonnie … Jenny E… Ruth Go… Barbara… Christi… Alison … Readsto… Melanie… Meredit… Joanne … Krystyn Ernie N… Kathy Susan G… Tara Chloe S Amy Car… Laurie … Joanne … Melissa… Erica Jennife… Sally Witt Tonya S… Nicole … Mary We… Charys … More followers… Add NewVIDEOS Almost Home Add a comment More videos… PAM’S BOOKSHELVES read (123) currently-reading (1) to-read (1) PAM’S FRIENDS (397) Kara Kara 2,938 books | 789 friends Matty Matty 787 books | 503 friends Colleen Colleen 2,547 books | 1,018 friends Trish Trish 459 books | 52 friends Melissa Melissa 1,423 books | 1,681 friends Jennifer Jennifer 2,529 books | 476 friends Jen Jen 1,020 books | 291 friends Kathy Kathy 1,250 books | 27 friends More friends… Pam Jenoff Goodreads Author Websitehttp://www.pamjenoff.com Member SinceFebruary 2011 edit data Pam is the author of several novels, including her most recent The Orphan’s Tale, an instant New York Times bestseller. Pam was born in Maryland and raised outside Philadelphia. She attended George Washington University in Washington, D.C., and Cambridge University in England. Upon receiving her master’s in history from Cambridge, she accepted an appointment as Special Assistant to the Secretary of the Army. The position provided a unique opportunity to witness and participate in operations at the most senior levels of government, including helping the families of the Pan Am Flight 103 victims secure their memorial at Arlington National Cemetery, observing recovery efforts at the site of the Oklahoma City bombing and attending ceremonies to commemorate the fiftieth anniversary of World War II at sites such as Bastogne and Corregidor. Following her work at the Pentagon, Jenoff moved to the State Department. In 1996 she was assigned to the U.S. Consulate in Krakow, Poland. It was during this period that Pam developed her expertise in Polish-Jewish relations and the Holocaust. Working on matters such as preservation of Auschwitz and the restitution of Jewish property in Poland, Jenoff developed close relations with the surviving Jewish community. Having left the Foreign Service in 1998 to attend law school at the University of Pennsylvania, Jenoff is now employed as an attorney in Philadelphia. Pam is the author of The Kommandant’s Girl, which was an international bestseller and nominated for a Quill award, as well as The Diplomat’s Wife and Almost Home. (less)

Discover new books on Goodreads See if your friends have read any of Pam Jenoff’s books Join Goodreads Pam Jenoff 123 ratings | 94 reviews | avg rating:5.00 PAM JENOFF’S FOLLOWERS (1,079) Ingrid … Melissa… Heather… Bonnie … Jenny E… Ruth Go… Barbara… Christi… Alison … Readsto… Melanie… Meredit… Joanne … Krystyn Ernie N… Kathy Susan G… Tara Chloe S Amy Car… Laurie … Joanne … Melissa… Erica Jennife… Sally Witt Tonya S… Nicole … Mary We… Charys … More followers… Add NewVIDEOS Almost Home Add a comment More videos… PAM’S BOOKSHELVES read (123) currently-reading (1) to-read (1) PAM’S FRIENDS (397) Kara Kara 2,938 books | 789 friends Matty Matty 787 books | 503 friends Colleen Colleen 2,547 books | 1,018 friends Trish Trish 459 books | 52 friends Melissa Melissa 1,423 books | 1,681 friends Jennifer Jennifer 2,529 books | 476 friends Jen Jen 1,020 books | 291 friends Kathy Kathy 1,250 books | 27 friends More friends… Pam Jenoff Goodreads Author Websitehttp://www.pamjenoff.com Member SinceFebruary 2011 edit data Pam is the author of several novels, including her most recent The Orphan’s Tale, an instant New York Times bestseller. Pam was born in Maryland and raised outside Philadelphia. She attended George Washington University in Washington, D.C., and Cambridge University in England. Upon receiving her master’s in history from Cambridge, she accepted an appointment as Special Assistant to the Secretary of the Army. The position provided a unique opportunity to witness and participate in operations at the most senior levels of government, including helping the families of the Pan Am Flight 103 victims secure their memorial at Arlington National Cemetery, observing recovery efforts at the site of the Oklahoma City bombing and attending ceremonies to commemorate the fiftieth anniversary of World War II at sites such as Bastogne and Corregidor. Following her work at the Pentagon, Jenoff moved to the State Department. In 1996 she was assigned to the U.S. Consulate in Krakow, Poland. It was during this period that Pam developed her expertise in Polish-Jewish relations and the Holocaust. Working on matters such as preservation of Auschwitz and the restitution of Jewish property in Poland, Jenoff developed close relations with the surviving Jewish community. Having left the Foreign Service in 1998 to attend law school at the University of Pennsylvania, Jenoff is now employed as an attorney in Philadelphia. Pam is the author of The Kommandant’s Girl, which was an international bestseller and nominated for a Quill award, as well as The Diplomat’s Wife and Almost Home. (less)

5 Reasons You Need to Make 2018 Your Selfish Yearselfish year “Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” – Parker J. Palmer By simply being alive, we must take care of ourselves first. This isn’t selfish; it’s an act of survival. If we don’t look after both our basic and more complex needs, who will? We must live with ourselves our entire lives, so we have no choice but to do whatever is necessary to keep ourselves afloat. However, life is more than just surviving; it’s also about thriving. It’s about taking time for yourself to figure out what you enjoy, and building a life that you can be proud of. Sadly, too many people are living well below their potential, or living for someone else besides themselves. You deserve to be a little selfish this year and put yourself first for a change. We’ll explain how “selfishness” can benefit your life in more detail below. HERE’S WHY YOU NEED TO MAKE 2018 YOUR SELFISH YEAR: YOU’LL LEARN TO BECOME YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. Out of all the people in our lives, we are often most disconnected and out of touch with ourselves. We spend a lot of time trying to make others happy and tending to their needs, all the while neglecting the person we’re with 24/7: ourselves. Many of us don’t even like ourselves and wish we could jump out of our skin into someone else’s life. We see people’s posts on Facebook or Instagram and compare ourselves to them and their “seemingly” perfect lives. We spend so much time hating ourselves, because we’re our own worst critic. It’s no surprise that so many people feel this way, because we live in a world obsessed with progress. Nothing is ever good enough, including ourselves. However, you don’t have to fall into this vicious cycle. Believe that you’re good enough as you are right now, and truly take the time to get to know yourself. The greatest gift you can give yourself is self-love, because no one can take it away from you.

Nela Canovic, Been reading them all my life, and sometimes in my dreams. Answered 4d ago I’ll say it again and again, for the rest of my life, because I seriously believe this to be true. Carol Dweck’s book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Why? In a nutshell, because it changed my mind about my mind. About its potential. About what I thought it could do, which was limiting—and didn’t help me understand the big picture. And about how I could shape it so it can serve me better. So I can become that version of myself that I’m proud of, every single day. And that’s quite a feat for one book. Dweck— a professor at Stanford and one of the world’s leading researchers in the field of developmental psychology—explains why the mindset we nurture throughout our life is the single critical element of our self-development. She makes a distinction between two types of mindsets: A fixed mindset: where you believe that your skills and qualities are “fixed” i.e. they’re something you’re born with or have possessed since early childhood, and there’s nothing you can do to change them in any way. Some examples of fixed mindset attitudes are the following: Success to me means that I can prove I am smart or talented. I feel successful whenever things feel easy and I can do them effortlessly. I feel dumb whenever I make a mistake and when it takes me a long time to solve a problem. I feel like I have to do everything perfectly, or else I shouldn’t bother. I’ve never been good at math, so it’s no surprise I am failing in this class. A growth mindset: where you believe that your skills and qualities can be changed and developed over time, through continuous effort and training. Some examples of growth mindset attitudes are the following: Success to me means that I need to stretch myself to learn something new. I feel successful whenever I work hard on achieving a goal. I understand that I grow in situations where I need to work hard as I’m trying to solve a difficult problem. I know that making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process, and I focus on learning something from each mistake I make. I haven’t received good grades in math last year, and I’m excited to practice and improve my problem-solving skills this year. Where do these mindsets come from? While a fixed mindset is adopted over time by listening to messages from a young age about what we can, should, or shouldn’t do (usually by parents, relatives, and teachers), a growth mindset is something we can nurture in ourselves as we deliberately select those learning opportunities that can benefit us. What areas of our life are affected by the mindset we select for ourselves? Our education: Having a fixed mindset can lead us to avoid getting a degree in a field that can be an exciting growth opportunity, and conversely push us towards making a “safe” choice or studying something we think we “should.” Our career: Having a fixed mindset will make us get defensive every time we receive feedback in the workplace (instead of seeing it as an opportunity to improve the quality of our work), or it can make us feel like we must reaffirm our status on the team by putting others down and criticizing their work. Our relationships: Having a fixed mindset can make us feel unhappy if our friends, romantic partners, children and other family members don’t fit into our expectations of what we think they should be and how they “should” act towards us, or it can cause us to blame others or feel bitter and resentful towards them. What are some ways to grow your mindset? Here are 5 ideas. Idea #1. Refuse to quit when things get tough. Maybe you’re in the middle of reading through a tough chapter in preparation for an exam, and your mind is just not into it. Or a task you’re doing at work is boring and dull for you. Maybe it’s just something as simple as you’re getting hungry and can’t be bothered to continue working. The solution? Don’t give in to the urge. Keep going. Imagine that your brain is making connections as you’re working through a problem, and it will learn from this experience. Don’t quit halfway. Idea #2. Don’t focus on problems, obstacles, or things you don’t currently possess. Whenever you do, you put yourself in reactive mode. Life shouldn’t be about just reacting to what’s happening to (or around) us. It’s much more empowering to be proactive. For example, if you’ve encountered a problem, it’s better to think of alternative solutions to getting it fixed. Or, if you’re envious that a close friend just accepted an offer of their dream job, it’s better to map out what you want out of your career and come up with a six-month plan to get your dream job. Idea #3. Take a fresh look at your past—mistakes, failures and all. Is there something that happened in your past that you believe measures you and how successful or unsuccessful you are? Identify that experience. Maybe it’s getting fired from your last job, or flunking an exam, or ending a relationship that meant a lot to you. Tell yourself, this experience has happened to me, but it does not define me. Then ask yourself, how can I learn from it? What has it taught me about myself and what I truly care about? How can it show me the path towards getting what I want? Idea #4. Expand your learning horizons. Don’t think that a learning experience only happens in the classroom, sitting at a table, or reading a textbook. Just because something is not taught in school or at university, does not mean you shouldn’t spend time learning about it. Go to the library and pick up books on a topic that is interesting to you. Take an online class in the evening, or watch free tutorials on YouTube on how to develop a skill you think would be empowering to you. Don’t let fear hold you back just because you don’t know anything about a topic. Maybe you can ask someone who’s an expert in that area and who has mastered a skill you want to develop. Idea #5. Make specific plans to grow your mindset each day. It’s not going to happen automatically, and you can’t rely on other people to point the way every single moment so you can become that better version of yourself that you want to see. Take ownership of your day. Start with this question: What are the opportunities for learning and growth today? Write down a short list of 3–5 items to choose from. Be specific. If you need to do research on something, write what exactly you’ll need to do and how long it will take. If you need to practice a skill, write down where you’ll start practicing it and how. Always focus on answering when, where, and how you’ll proactively grow your mindset, so you set your own path to making it happen. 118.3k Views · 1,592 Upvotes

Desventajas de tenerla grande POR SILVIA OLMEDO – ABRIL 14, 2017 1.57k ¡Cuidado con lo que se desea, porque puede cumplirse!. El tamaño del pene no solo está sobrevalorado (ya explicamos que es falso que cuanto más grande sea un pene más placer da a la mujer) además, se ignora que en ocasiones no es fuente de placer sino de sufrimiento para quien lo posee. ¿Pero qué es un super pene o pene XXL? Todo aquél que pase de los 17 es de tamaño superior a la media y se consideraría super pene a partir de unos 20 centímetros en erección. Puede que tener tal apariencia del miembro sea un sueño a la hora de atraer parejas sexuales o soñar con relaciones sexuales, pero a la hora “de la verdad”, funcionalmente puede convertirse en la peor pesadilla, salvo que te dediques al cine porno. ¿Qué problemas conlleva tener grandes medidas aparte de soportar jodas toda tu adolescencia? Dificultades en la erección: Mantener la erección puede ser un problema debido al gran tamaño, obviamente, es necesario un mayor alarde de este mecanismo tan sofisticado, casi milagroso, que es lograr una erección fuerte y prolongada. Dificultades con la pareja sexual e incluso rechazo: puede golpear el fondo de la vagina produciendo molestias e incluso dolor en las estructuras internas de la pelvis. Algunas mujeres se han asustado al ver tamañas proporciones y los han rechazado por este motivo. Dificultades en la penetración: Puede tener que recurrirse a una mayor lubricación, buscar hasta encontrar la postura adecuada e incluso recurrir a medidas que impidan una penetración completa, como utilizar una toalla enrollada alrededor del pene que haga de tope. La próxima vez que te plantees vender tu alma por unos centímetros más, vuelve a leer este artículo.

Tips para aumentar el deseo POR SILVIA OLMEDO – MARZO 26, 2017 1.68k El deseo sexual no es algo estático, fluye. En ocasiones está por los cielos y en otras por los suelos. Esos descensos pueden deberse a problemas de salud que necesitan un diagnóstico y un tratamiento adecuados, pero hay ocasiones en que no es necesario llegar al consultorio del médico ni recurrir a fármacos ya que el deseo puede incrementarse de forma natural. Estos tips te ayudan a lograrlo: Ejercicio. Practicar deporte con regularidad ayuda a aumentar la resistencia cardiovascular lo que impacta de forma positiva en la vida sexual. A los chicos les ayuda a mantener la erección por más tiempo y a ellas a lubricar mejor. Alimentación Incluye en tu dieta nueces, cacahuates, almendras, castañas, piñones y pistachos ya que son ricos en L-arginina, aminoácido que el organismo convierte en óxido nítrico, un dilatador de los vasos sanguíneos que ayuda a mejorar la circulación. Se le considera como una alternativa natural al sildenafil (Viagra). Imaginación El cerebro es nuestro principal órgano sexual. Pensar en sexo es una buena forma de aumentar el deseo sexual. Fantasea con posturas, personas y recuerda noches inolvidables para activar el deseo. ¿Un tip? Mirar una foto de tu pareja o de una persona.